Video: Rihanna, “Rockstar 101″
We have enjoyed every minute of watching Rihanna fall through the hell mouth and descend to the 9th circle of hell with her look on Rated R. She’s getting darker and darker by the minute and we, for one, are quite happy about it. We have also been fans of Rihanna in full body paint since the “Umbrella” video. However, the viking/ram helmet that she is wearing is the last straw!!! We will now have to confiscate everything that is ever present on a Rihanna shoot. While continuing to prove that her stylist is one of the best that ever did it, RiRi kinda murders it in this video. The centaur steez kind of reminds us of another Suite903-favorite.
We cannot get enough of this shit! Pop females everywhere are losing their minds. Summer 2010 may be the return of the Amazon women warriors! Although if The-Dream has anything to do with it we will all be too trapped in our own rumpled bed sheets by July to start any revolution. Let’s see who wins this war!
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Cyriously: “Rated-R” or “Rated-X”
Sex. Sex! And more sex. More sex! I like it. I like it! I love it. I love it! I need it. I need it!
Each week Cyrus Kyle Langhorne weighs-in on hot button topics with his sharp commentary. This week’s subject: Rihanna.
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Video: Rihanna Covers “Wonderwall” by Oasis (After Jay-Z)
If Rihanna was the last girl on earth (like for real), would Oasis want her stinking up singing “Wonderwall”? It’s really not one of those songs that when it’s covered you’d expect a standing ovation, and maybe even a tear.
Doing “Wonderwall” is so easy a caveman could do it. Two years ago Jay-Z made it relevant for non-Oasis fans when he went left field with his version at Glastonbury. As much applause Rihanna deserves for something refreshing, she’s riding with Hov (and his coattails) for his jab at Noel Gallagher. From the look of the short clip, she didn’t seem like she went all the way.
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Dedication: J.Lo as Rihanna on SNL
We’re not sure who gets the prize for best impression in this one but we DEF have to shout out our girl J.Lo as RiRi. The hair, the outfit, the adlibs: perfection. You know, sometimes we forget that J.Lo is an actress (please hold your laughter) and that this SNL gig could actually have occurred because they knew she could be funny. Not just the usual “I’m on this show because I got an album / movie coming out and have no skills whatsoever.” Wait what, she’s got an album coming out AND a movie? When? Really? NO WAY! IS JA RULE ON IT??!?! Hrmm…well does she at least use the N word again?!?! Sigh fine: we stand corrected. Also, we’d like to give props to SNL for having a funny skit this week. We would’ve dedicated “Ain’t it Funny” but its not about ya’ll. Check the dedication after the jump. -Judnick Mayard
Video: Rihanna, “Rude Boy” Live on AOL Sessions
You know what: this weekend we’re going out. Snowicane be damned! NO pants, ridiculous leotard, and some thigh-high Kirkwood for Rodarte metal spike heel boots. Forget this snow. Crush this ice with some major fashion hardware. Get our badda gyal posse together and burn this city down. Rude boys be forewarned! RiRi, we are inspired and we FUX WITH THIS!!!! Your live performance is getting there but come out with the Suite903 chicks this weekend. We’ll show you how to run this ish right here! Make sure you have health insurance though boo. We’ve been known to dance ourselves to injury. Sigh, small price to pay for being dancehall queens. -Judnick Mayard
Video: Rihanna, “Rude Boy”
We were pretty bummed last week when we missed the Bronx Dancehall Queen contest and even more disappointed when we found out it got shut down before the chicks could even pop off. That said, RiRi is obviously giving us major bashment vibes in this “Rude Boy” video. Not to mention vintage dance moves (THE BOGLE IS LIKE ’93). We’re not sure that this video isn’t in 3D (we left our custom Chanel polarized 3-D goggles at home) so somebody please let us know about that. Diplo tweeted, jokingly, last night that Rihanna should get off Major Lazer’s balls. We‘re not going to fire shots but this does remind us of a certain style that’s been M.I.A. from the music scene for a year or so but what exactly has RiRi done that’s ever been original. We do request that the Keith Haring-esque print body suit be sent to our suite and that RiRi maintain this swag in public. We love when she remembers that she is West Indian. Although for clarification there are NO safari animals in Barbados. -Judnick Mayard
CYRIOUSLY: Sex, Lies & Studio Sessions
(laugh)
When it all boils down, I’m still torn between trying to understand whether or not these “sex tapes” based off R&B singers are staged or legit.
In case you haven’t noticed, it’s “Return of the Mac……..” style with this posting, nothing but random thoughts splurged with R&B themes. Well, in all actuality I suppose we have yet to come across an R&B “sextape,” but the compilation of these Rihanna and Cassie photos which consumed the ‘net just a few months back is still damping my dome piece, so let’s roll with it, @CyrusKLanghorne.
Video: Rihanna Does “Redemption Song” on Oprah
As you likely know, Rihanna has covered Bob Marley’s “Redemption Song” with all proceeds going to the relief effort in Haiti. Yesterday she made her way on Oprah to play the song live, giving a moving performance that diverges from her bad girl image and puts some emotion in her music that doesn’t feel so prevalent these days. Check for Wyclef in the audience. To download this cover and donate to Haiti, go to Oprah.com.
Video: Rihanna f. Young Jeezy, “Hard”
WOW. WOW WOW WOW. RiRi amazes us on two different levels with this video. The good-amazing: HER OUTFITS. BOW DOWN TO HER STYLIST MARIEL HAENN FOR LIFE. The bad-amazing: um, did the people involved in making this video realize that the US is in an extended drawn-out war in the Middle East for sometimes dubious purposes and that President Obama recently opted to send more troops to Afghanistan who won’t be pulled out until 2011 (maybe)? And that the whole “CHILLING IN A DESERT PLAYING CARDS WITH YOUR BOYS” is not really what it’s like when you’re stationed outside Kabul? No? Well then. Props to them for being zeitgeistical. Song is still sick.
CYRIOUSLY: The Life & Times Of Christopher Maurice Brown
Every week, Cyrus Kyle Langhorne pulls no punches on the topics at hand. This week: Chris Brown’s oversharing problem.
(laugh)
Apologies Freeway-earrrrrrrrly for “attempting” to title drop something that does not automatically categorize me in the “another Chris Brown posting..ughh….” state of mind for some of the readers out thurrr…(c) Chingy, 2003
When it comes to music, common knowledge and du-rag giveaway hints would lead my judges to place me in the “he’s a rapppper” talks, but truth be told, I’m a music lover to the core. Sure, I might be able to spit a hot Biggie Smalls 16 bars off the dome piece while doing that Tony Yayo hand dance, but at the same time, I’m able to finish off by saying “…but you don’t hear me though” and then calling up wifey to soak up the hot tub and toss on some Al Green at the same time. (laugh)
