Cyriously: Should Mariah Carey Adopt Before Having Nick Cannon’s Baby?
Each week Cyrus Kyle Langhorne weighs-in on hot button topics with his sharp commentary. This week’s subject: Mariah Carey.
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6 Songs to Get Mariah Carey’s “Angel’s Advocate” Off the Shelf
Without getting too far ahead of predicting the outcome of Mariah Carey’s next studio effort, there is still afterlife for the remix album that never was—Angel’s Advocate. People actually still care about MC besides her superboo Nick Cannon and the devoted Japanese teenage girls that still flock to Mariah Carey’s shows. To be able to churn out chart-topping #1 single after single as effortlessly as she flashes her midriff, that’s talent right there.
Mariah hasn’t had it easy being a veteran to pop and R&B. She’s fallen off her rocker (in music and her personal life) causing her margin of error to catch up to her. Now her second compilation of remixes will be withheld from release. All it should take is gathering some of the best upgrades to her already existing hits to pad her library of multi-platinum material. People do brain surgery everyday, how hard could this be? We saved Mimi the trouble of going to such tiring lengths by gathering six of our favorites we’d like to see work their way into a subsequent version of Angel’s Advocate. So like Diddy said, “This. Is. The. Remix.”
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Dedication: #thisdateisover
Perhaps our favorite trending topic on Twitter YET, and the only one that’s inspired us to peruse the public timeline, #thisdateisover has yielded such gems as:
@KaineTheBrave: #thisdateisover if she wants extra cheese on her Big Mac…
@lacostebodybag Did you just scratch your balls under the table and think i didnt see? #thisdateisover
@CraigAllGrownUp You have 3 kids and confused with who they dads are and they all 14+ yrs old #thisdateisover
@@iamSHAE: Nicca, are those REEBOKS ??? #thisdateisover
We HAD to dedicate this song to that shit… and what better than this live version of Mariah’s “UP OUT MY FACE”? We sense a meme. Listen after the jump.
Video: Mariah Carey f. Nicki Minaj, “Up Out My Face”
Seriously though? Get up out Mariah and Nicki’s faces. They got some hair to get did and some chilling to do. Mariah’s got some R. Kelly’ing to do, Minaj got some vroom vroom’ing to do. This is possibly the best video of all time.
Mariah Carey f. NeYo, “Angels Cry (Remix)”
Two of the softest voices since Jon and Kate’s litter was still on TV come together in a heartfelt ode to morning sex. Maybe not, but we’d like to think of it being described that way. If not for the sheer pleasure, for the fact that angels are sad that you are doing nighttime things during the daytime. How does that old joke go about masturbating and kittens? We choose not to remember it because we don’t like either of those things.
Download: Mariah Carey f. NeYo, “Angels Cry (Remix)”
Dedication: Mariah So Wavy!
Mariah, you can do no wrong in our eyes. We know you were getting a little “warm” with some red wine or pink champers up at the Palm Springs Film Festival (which in itself is absurd). And you still managed to be fabulous and amazing. Will you invite us over next time you have cocktails if we dedicate Maze’s “Happy Feelings” to you?
Dedication: Mariah, the NBA Elf
She is the GOAT and we might have to cut anyone who begs to differ. And she’s bringing us a holiday treat! On Christmas Day, an exclusive basketball-and-Christmas themed video she made for ESPN will air during the games, a clip of which can be seen above. And since we love her so, we are dedicating a Mariah song to Mariah, because no one else could do her fabulosity justice. Check it after the jump.
Video: Mariah Carey, “H.A.T.E.U.”
This video nails what Mariah does best. Look good in a bathing suit and hug her frame longingly. For such a passive aggressive song, the video also leaves Mariah exceptionally vulnerable, looking like a lonely mermaid who’s just traded her fins for an unfamilir pair of human legs. Mariah surges on though, as she always does, mastering the mechanics of bipedalism enough to carve out “H.A.T.E.U.” in the sand with her piggies.
Mariah Carey, “I Wanna Know What Love Is” (Foreigner Cover)
Reminiscent of her “I’ll Be There” cover (donde esta Trey Lorenz?), Mariah gets in some piano and some gospel, because what is a more epic question than “What is love?” We like to define love as the sensual emotional passion between two people, usually manifested in our Manhattan penthouse with a glass of champagne and a little Al Jarreau… but we hear it’s different for everyone.
Mariah Carey Doubles Up With Timbaland and Jermaine Dupri
She’s back in the building, folks. Yes, after a platinum-selling album last year and both “Huh?” and “Congrats!” reactions towards her marriage with Nick “Drumline” Cannon, Mariah Carey is back in the studio preparing “Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel.” Well, the “imperfect” sounds a bit more like her steez, the “angel,” ehhh, we’d rather watch re-runs of “Buffy” for that. Regardless, the project is set for a September 2009 release and Mariah recently talked about linking up with hip-hop producers Timbaland and Magoo Jermaine Dupri…(peep below)
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