DEDICATION: Biggie.
You already know. Here’s a classic smooth jam. RIP Brooklyn’s Finest. We’ll be back on your born day.
DEDICATION: Young Jeezy and Fela Kuti (What? Yes.)
We knew we loved Jeezy but once we heard him call Fela Kuti “gangster” and say “He might be the African Jizzle” we knew it was meant to be. That’s right, you two are soulmates. Your president is black and so was Fela’s. We’re dedicating this song to you Jeezy because the video makes us laugh and so does your statement. Also one party clearly dominates in this video and well…yea. We tell ya, it gets warm and all the couples come out. Cannot wait for the Roforofo 103 Album. – Judnick Mayard
Dedication: Onika Maraj’s High School Talent Show Oeuvre
From backing vocals on Lloyd’s “Take it Off” to “Knockout,” a pop punk collaboration with Lil’ Wayne, we are no stranger to Nicki Minaj’s crooning capabilities. Since she went to New York City’s Fame-ous LaGuardia High School, talent shows probably played a large part in how she cultivated her awesomeness. Usually, she’s rapping ’til her eyes come out of her face, but she is often satiating her Barbies with up-to-the-minute HB-info on Twitter. But tweets is watching, Miss Minaj, and we saw you post last night about Monica’s “Why I Love You So Much” and you belted it out at every performing opportunity you could. You were already our girl, but we didn’t know you think Monica is just as fetch as we do. We’re gonna dedicate “dat jawn” to you, since you’re totally our Alfred Bitchcok.
DEDICATION: Chad Ochocinco’s Training “Habits”
Chad Ochocinco, you are a highly questionable man… and fine…and shit we just lost our train of thought watching this foolishness. We ignored your “sympathy Uggs” but chile please explain this latest episode of OCNN. Are you the foolywang high priest of the Cult of Bojanglin Junk? We can’t stop watching and there’s a park right by Suite903 if you wanna come jog. That scrambler isn’t scrambling anything. What are you up to Chad? You want some attention? Fine, you got a DEDICATION. Why don’t you jog on up to our HQ and explain this to us face to face. We’re here to listen. We’ll have Marques playing in the background and you can do your stretches right here. Afterwards we promise to write you a prescription for some #sityoassdown. Extra strength.
Dedication: J.Lo as Rihanna on SNL
We’re not sure who gets the prize for best impression in this one but we DEF have to shout out our girl J.Lo as RiRi. The hair, the outfit, the adlibs: perfection. You know, sometimes we forget that J.Lo is an actress (please hold your laughter) and that this SNL gig could actually have occurred because they knew she could be funny. Not just the usual “I’m on this show because I got an album / movie coming out and have no skills whatsoever.” Wait what, she’s got an album coming out AND a movie? When? Really? NO WAY! IS JA RULE ON IT??!?! Hrmm…well does she at least use the N word again?!?! Sigh fine: we stand corrected. Also, we’d like to give props to SNL for having a funny skit this week. We would’ve dedicated “Ain’t it Funny” but its not about ya’ll. Check the dedication after the jump. -Judnick Mayard
Dedication: R.I.P. Sasha Fierce
Last night on Extra, Mrs. Knowles-Carter revealed that with a swat of her hand and a declarative “I killed her” that Sasha Fierce is no more. We’re partial to R&B alter egos at Suite903 (so, wherever you’re at Brook-Lynn, don’t ever change!), so we must round out the week with a dedication to Beyoncé’s fallen other. We might even have to throw on our Chinatown bootleg fringed sunglasses and faux-robot hands tonight, but for now we’ll just play Brandy and Wanya Morris’ “Brokenhearted” for Sasha Fierce while we try to get over it.
Dedication: Terrell Owens’ Runway Face
TWERRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKK!!!!!!! Terrell Owens you are fierce and ferocious boo! TO took to the catwalk for Richie Rich of Heatherette’s new line A*MUSE (you have bigger things to worry about than the irony, my friends) and he was superidicoutrageouberferocious! Tina Turner wig, sparkles, and bitchface to match… we’re already on Ebay trying to locate and bid on that weave. We don’t even have words to explain how we feel about this. We have so many songs we feel are appropriate to celebrate this occasion but Sasha Fierce is the only one we trust to hold us down on this one. (Tranny alter egos UNITE!) TO keep doing you baby but call Bey and get that lace-front game poppin because if you’re gonna do it than you better do it BIG. Check the dedication after the jump. —Judnick Mayard
Dedication: Nicki Minaj and Her Boob Entourage
Nicki. Minaj. Is. Gangster. Last night the twitternet was going nuts over Nicki Minaj’s call to her barbies for pics of their cleavage for autographs. Apparently if you sent her a pic of your tatas and she retweeted it: you were signed for life. Ummmmm…WHATTTT?? Was it sketchy? Yeah. Was it awesome? Hellz yes! Better than the request was the response. Within minutes, boobs were all over twitter as girls begged Nicki to “sign” them. We don’t even know how to address such G but we’re sure that every man on twitter is now a Nicki fan. PSYCH! They already were! Anyway we’re dedicating Michael Bell-Smith’s Chapters 1-12 of R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet Synced and Played Simultaneously to you this morning Ms. Minaj. To be clear, we don’t think you’re trapped in any type of sexuality closet, we just haven’t seen anyone have these kind of balls for absurdity since KELLZ! Also, we don’t even know what the hell is going on! Pied Piper Barbie! -Judnick Mayard
Dedication: #thisdateisover
Perhaps our favorite trending topic on Twitter YET, and the only one that’s inspired us to peruse the public timeline, #thisdateisover has yielded such gems as:
@KaineTheBrave: #thisdateisover if she wants extra cheese on her Big Mac…
@lacostebodybag Did you just scratch your balls under the table and think i didnt see? #thisdateisover
@CraigAllGrownUp You have 3 kids and confused with who they dads are and they all 14+ yrs old #thisdateisover
@@iamSHAE: Nicca, are those REEBOKS ??? #thisdateisover
We HAD to dedicate this song to that shit… and what better than this live version of Mariah’s “UP OUT MY FACE”? We sense a meme. Listen after the jump.
Dedication: John Edwards, Father
John Edwards, you’re so stupid that you’re a GENIUS! Even though you were not slick enough to cheat on your wife with an attractive woman or keep your scallywag quiet, we applaud you. You were obviously paying attention to the Tiger Woods fiasco and have learned the art of deflection. Did you take a hint from Mark McGwire, you Wile E. Coyote, you? In the midst of an international crisis you saw fit to finally admit what we already knew: YOU ARE THE FATHER! Guess what: you’re not even in the top ten news stories on CNN! No snarky headlines, just a quick blurb. You didn’t even make the front page of the NY Post and they’re easy. (Shout out to Tiger!) In any case, you are one smooth operator and have set a whole new standard for douche bags in 2010. You did do one thing right: you showed us that America still cares about real issues rather than trivial interests such as American Idol or the trysts of unattractive people. We see you Johnny boy. This one here is for you! -Judnik Mayard
