Video: Chris Brown, “Whose Girl is That?”
Man. It was all so much simpler. Chris Brown was pre-pubescent, even though he was singing about girls you felt like dude hadn’t even had his first kiss probably because his voice was so babylike, and we didn’t think he was a gianormous defensive douchebag who won’t take responsibility for his actions. The summer of 2005. We were all so innocent! Watch this previously unreleased jam and pretend it was then for a few minutes.
CYRIOUSLY: The Life & Times Of Christopher Maurice Brown
Every week, Cyrus Kyle Langhorne pulls no punches on the topics at hand. This week: Chris Brown’s oversharing problem.
(laugh)
Apologies Freeway-earrrrrrrrly for “attempting” to title drop something that does not automatically categorize me in the “another Chris Brown posting..ughh….” state of mind for some of the readers out thurrr…(c) Chingy, 2003
When it comes to music, common knowledge and du-rag giveaway hints would lead my judges to place me in the “he’s a rapppper” talks, but truth be told, I’m a music lover to the core. Sure, I might be able to spit a hot Biggie Smalls 16 bars off the dome piece while doing that Tony Yayo hand dance, but at the same time, I’m able to finish off by saying “…but you don’t hear me though” and then calling up wifey to soak up the hot tub and toss on some Al Green at the same time. (laugh)
CYRIOUSLY: Alicia Keys & Beyonce are Back Like That
Remember back in the days? (c) Biggie Smalls…
Honestly, I had no idea how to play the PG-13 role with the above title. Thoughts slurred through my domepiece amongst the likes of “A** Like That” (Eminem), “Shake Ya A**” (Mystikal) and/or good ol’ “Donk(s)!” (Soulja Boy Tell Em)…well, why oh why would I be talking about backsides? Three words.
Alicia-Keys-Beyonce
The aim of this post? Funk a supergroup like Fabolous meets Ryan Leslie meets Ne-Yo, the gang needs to pony up and give the fans a one-two punch, throwback “Knock Out Kings” style with the two biggest names in R&B right now. Ciara ain’t selling? Funk her. Lloyd no longer on Murder Inc.? Funk him. Cherish who? Funk ‘em!
As advertisers continue to make it rain on rapper endorsement deals and try to toss shame at soon-to-be “has-beens” like Chris Brown, it brings the kid an uncontrollable urge to make a plea for the record labels to put their minds together and see my vision (via Suite903.com…owww….)
One, if not “the” biggest selling albums of 2008? Beyonce’s I Am…Sasha Fierce. Go back a year, 2007? Alicia Keys’ As I Am murks Larry Johnny and his grandmama’s hopes of seeing some teen sensation take over the R&B game. Point at hand? GET THOSE TWO A JOINT ALBUM TOGETHER!
We’ve already seen their chemistry with Jay-Z. Beyonce is wifed up with Hovi while Alicia Keys and Jay take over the entire radio game with their “Empire State of Mind” track, right? Shucks, even Beyonce had that “Deja Vu” record with the Greatest Rapper Alive, right? To make things even more interesting, think about it. Both of ‘em on an entire LP together? You’re guaranteed at least two guest features by Mr. Carter along with (take a wild guess) crazy production from a little guy called “Swwwizzzzy, man” (Swizz Beatz)…and with all the trials and tribulations they’ve gone through since their last albums dropped (Solange going Erykah Badu with the head, Kanye West VMA incident, Mashonda airing out ol’ girl)….the buzz around the project would be ridiculous…
Look, the sad truth is R&B is not what it used to be. Rihanna made a crazy comeback after the whole Chris Breezy incident and look, she comes in at number four with around 180,000 copies in its first week when Susan Boyle murders the top 20….no, the ENTIRE 2009 releases by pushing 700,000 her first week in the United States. So, if I may ever so kindly turn into a throwback George W. Bush right about now…
“Americans, R&B is at war right now. This is a state of emergency and the time to act is NOW. We have waited and seen our fellow R&B singers fall victim to label drops (Omarion), career-damaging rumors (Pleasure P) and just downright leaked XXX photos (Cassie). We will no longer tolerate this. May God bless us all.”
Alicia. Beyonce. America needs you two right now. If not for me, then at least for our country. No “Best of Both Worlds” or even an “Aliconce Kewles.” Just something along the likes of a 12-track compilation, even if you simply named it, “Best Of Us” or something you could use a Sharpie and write it on a CD-R demo disc. The time to act is now, please. R&B heads, let’s make this happen!
Holla if you hear me. -@CyrusKLanghorne
The Butterfly Effect
Call her Rihanna, RiRi or Chris Brown’s ex-wifey, but the only thing worse than having her comeback album receive mediocre reviews is when Rated R gets sonned by 50 Cent…no….Susan Boyle? WHOA!
Yes, although it is still early on and bloggers are having a field day with the PhotoShop functions of their Macs, it’s looking like the Bajan hottie may actually be getting served by the frumpy reality star-turned-biggest seller of 2009.
Never one to take fame and credit away from anyone, in all honesty, I am proud of Boyle coming through to top all these artists, showing numbers can be sparked from the most unlikely of places. Look, she’s projected to move over 600,000 copies, which could topple Eminem’s Relapse and murk all your little brother’s favorite pin-up girls (Rihanna, Lady Gaga) and top rappers (Birdman, Jay Sean).
But focusing on Rihanna for a quick moment: the singer’s new album is being speculated to reach no more than 200,000 copies in its first week…but is that really saying much? No disrespect to her efforts, but first off, she’s moving those kind of numbers from Def Jam…the label always rumored to cop their own records. Next, it’s her “comeback” album…she went beyond double platinum with Good Girl Gone Bad, which dropped in 2007 (and was also re-released a few times)…and she has received the most publicity ANY singer could beg for…
Not trying to applaud Chris Brown’s actions for helping Rihanna takeover all bloggers, reporters, journalists and non-profit organizations’ agendas, but without their incident, what would that mean? I look at it like the whole 50 Cent incident. He received so much publicity from “beefing” with Rick Ross, but Before I Self Destruct seemed to fizzle at retail markets, with or without a global leak. So what numbers would Rihanna be able to move without having gotten herself into the dispute with Breezy?
Again, all of this is speculation, but thanks to music charting sites like HitsDailyDouble.com and TheHollywoodReporter.com, it’s a safe bet to say Rihanna might be taking a very unexpected “L” for her latest effort. Maybe people were a bit shaky about listening to content surrounding her fight or maybe it’s just expected….however, I can’t accept that answer.
Even Whitney Houston and Maxwell, if memory serves me correct, topped over 300,000 in their first-weeks, so what gives? As her co-signer would say, “Men lie, women lie but numbers don’t….” We’ll see what’s going on come Wednesday. -Cyrus Kyle Langhorne
Chris Brown f. Swizz Beatz & Lil Wayne, “I Can Transform Ya”
This video is weird. And not just because we’ll never look at Chris the same again, but what is going on here? There’s graffiti (presumably), Chris with no shirt on under his pea coat, Weezy with an unplugged guitar, freeze frame jerkin, cartoon glasses appearing on Chris’ face, some sort of amateur ninjitsu, and oh yea, Transformers. Mind blowing stuff here, really. But you know, if people aren’t really feeling it, we’re sure he’ll just say that when he looks back at it, he doesn’t see himself, cause he’s not that type of person. Kind of like when he beat up Rihanna.
Chris Brown To The Fans: “Say Hello To The Bad Guy”
Just in case you guys thought it was a joke, nerp: Chris Brown is officially back and running things, as heard in his last-minute interview on New York radio station Hot 97 with radio personality Angie Martinez. From talking about his issues with Oprah Winfrey to revealing a conversation with Mr. “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” himself and Diddy, Breezy went IN like Rocky 5… step up your memory catalog folks!
“As a young black man myself, I need older black male role models to step in and kind of mold me. Not people bashing me, ’cause that’s not how you learn from mistakes,” Brown told Martinez about Will Smith and Diddy.
Granted, he could play the high road of someone in need of “help” like Banks and Hilson back in ‘06, but when it came to those rumors about Jay-Z blackballing him from the BET Awards 2009 show last June and the threats of bodily harm to his well-being….well, let’s just say Chris played his cards right on that answer.
“I don’t know and don’t think it was him,” Brown said. “I don’t got anything against homie.”
All in all, the video and audio files are going to circulate online faster than Norton Anti-Virus subscription renewal offers over the next few weeks, so take it for what it’s worth. Hate him or love him, Brown is determined to make it in this music industry, even if he has to go and get colored as the “bad guy” for his personal situation/domestic dispute with Rihanna.
From records with Lil Wayne (”Transformya”) and Juelz Santana (”Back Home”), this kid is looking to continue being under 21 sitting on mills… -Cyrus Kyle Langhorne
Rihanna’s “Kill Breezy Volume 1″
Rihanna is officially back for everyone out there thinking the “ella, ella” movement was long gone. While the blog scene is still catching their collective breaths—from those nude snapshots from last winter, TMZ x LAPD Confidential Police Photo leak and publicized domestic dispute hearings—everyone else is getting a glimpse of the “new and improved” RiRi… in other words, the return of the “R” is back and we’re not talkin’ Rakim.
Call it really good promotion on behalf of her staff or call it a smart overall game plan by her own means, but setting up a Twitter page with a one-liner which has also grasped over 54,000 follows in less than 24 hours? Incredible. Just for those of you who think the singer might be pulling a fast one, peep what she had to say:
“The Wait Is Ova. Nov 23 09″
End of story. ‘Nuff said. Salutations. In case you are wondering the significance of November 23rd (which is a Monday), it’s actually going to be one of the biggest days this upcoming holiday season with Lady Gaga, Timbaland, 50 Cent, Birdman and your girl, RiRi landing in stores with new albums. Coincidentally, while the others already have names to their projects, we’re still left wondering what title (Justin Timberlake) she has come up with so far…
While you all ponder that “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” journey, keep in mind…with only a Zorro meets “Playboy Night Calls” letter “R” being displayed on her Twitter page promising a return, this comeback will be far more greater than Uma Thurman from those Kill Bill films. Even though she won’t admit it, this good girl –> bad girl is out to prove a point…sell records? Yes. Regain an even larger sex appeal and media spolight? Yes. Make Chris “Breezy” Brown look like a sucker? You better believe it. Only time will tell and her new songs have yet to meet the inevitable industry leak..until then, Breezy…..watch out! –Cyrus Kyle Langhorne
Lloyd To Ciara: “Move B*tch, Get Out The Way!!!”
Just before we get into this, keep in mind: R&B is the new rap these days. Beefs between artists, singers getting dropped (we see you Omarion!), Chris Brown going Ike Turner, man oh man…word? And now this….Lloyd talking greasy as Church’s Chicken towards 50 Cent’s jump-off, the new Princess of R&B, Ciara.
Now Benzino might not be on the cover of Hip Hop Weekly, but we must warn…be wary of the words you’re getting ready to read…in other terms, be prepared to hear and see Lloyd dropping a Vimeo explanation of what he “really” meant soon. He told Hip Hop Weekly, “I don’t f**k with Hollywood b*tches and she’s like one of the chicks that’s just changed along the way with the fame and the money and all of that…I don’t really get down with her anymore on some real sh*t. The truth hurts, but it will set you free. But I wish her all the best.”
(LAUGH!!!) Are you (beep, beep beep like Missy) kidding me? In addition to calling her a “Hollywood B*tch” and saying she changed with the fame, he also elegantly states “the truth hurts” like he’s product-placing Dr. Dre and ‘ish…please. The Internet game is sticky these days and without artists saying their peace via an actual video, it gets pretty, pretty, prett-y (”Curb Your Enthusiasm” is back!) sticky with these situations.
However, not trying to leave you guys with an “R&B Meets Beef” feel, let’s take a second to shine light on Ciara’s upcoming album.
Now according to the good folks at Singersroom, ol’ girl is currently in the middle of putting together a new album where she has equipped The-Dream (isn’t he retiring soon?) and Tricky Stewart. The solo project is slated for an early 2010 release and contains about 14 records so far.
“She came out to L.A. to work with us. We’re out here making this record ’cause it feels good and the vibe is good,” Tricky said in an interview with Rap-Up. “This record obviously is gonna have tempo to it, but I think it’s gonna have even more substance than the last record…She dances and we always want to bring out what she does that other people don’t.”
With Lloyd tossing a few shots her way, Bow Wow a distant memory and sloppy record sales from “Fantasy Ride,” it should be interesting to see what goodies Ciara has to offer this next album up. (Just please, no more 50 Cent collaborations…EVER.) -Cyrus Kyle Langhorne
Chris Brown Experiences a Curious Case of Memento
(laugh) At this point it’s practically drop-dead hilarious, right? First everyone goes Wild N’ Crazy Kids over a 30-second clip of Chris Brown saying he doesn’t recall the assault against Rihanna. Now, just a few hours later…oh wait, YES! He has a sudden light bulb go off like Inspector Gadget over his head. All right, granted, we’re being a little too harsh on the little Ike, errr…”tike,” so let’s start from the beginning.
Monday (August 31) morning, a brief clip comes on giving fans a sneak peek of Chris Breezy’s upcoming “Larry King Live” interview. Okay, check. However, being the media and blogs are what they are…the clip was examined closely and we’re left with (thanks to some excerpts via CNN):
“When I look at it now, it’s just like, wow, like, I can’t… I can’t believe that… that actually happened.”
So maybe everyone took his self-shock a bit too serious and ran with it. In a matter of hours (moreso “minutes”), it was, “CHRIS BROWN FORGETS BEATING RIHANNA” and “CHRIS BROWN DOESN’T REMEMBER DOMESTIC DISPUTE” and so forth…well, needless to say…it would only take a few “Shorty Like Mine” ringtone alerts to his celly to break the news…hence (thanks MTV!):
“There have been reports on the Internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna,” a statement from Brown read. “I want to try and set things straight. That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one-hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times—and when you look at the entire interview, you will see it is not representative of what I said. The first four times—I gave the same answer, which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn’t fair to Rihanna. The fifth time—I just misspoke. I was asked, ‘Do you remember doing it?’ and I said, ‘No.’ Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can’t believe it happened because it is not me or who I am, nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before.” (via MTV)
So feeling like something out of a deleted scene from “24,” we got the most awkward and indirect retracted statement, if you can even call it that, straight from Chris Breezy. With an upcoming “Larry King Live” special airing on Wednesday (September 2), it should be great to see nonetheless. Not only will he be rocking the baby blue Pee Wee Herman bowtie and sweater, but Breezy is also going to have Mom Dukes (aka Joyce Hawkins) and that bad mother…(shut your mouth) lawyer, Mark Geragos, leading him the entire way through the laid back player, LK…aka Larry King to you and yours.
With hope sprinkled in our cups of SmartWater and the laptops ready to blog about Breezy, the 24-hour countdown has officially begun! —Cyrus Kyle Langhorne
Chris Breezy Is Freezy
Ha! And most of you all were thinking Akon’s “Lock’d Up” when those felony charges were mentioned last February about Chris Brown Ike Turnin’ Rihanna, right? Well, fast-forward to a non-confirmed released date for Rebirth, Brown losing out on Wrigley’s Gum commercial money and Michael Jackson’s passing…well, you pretty much end up here…with Chris Breezy ATL skatin’ home free with five years’ probation from his domestic dispute case.
Not taking sides at all, but let’s break down some of the facts from the ruling on Tuesday (August 25). Out of all the publicity he received, the singer snags five years probation, 180 days community labor, must stay at least 50 yards away from RiRi until 2014 (anybody detect cyber sex?), and cannot carry any dangerous weapon…including a Child’s Play knife or Rambo-type gun. Who might have laid the smackdown on this ruling? None other than Los Angeles Judge Patricia Schnegg who shared some final words with Breezy:
“You are going to be placed on formal felony probation for a period of sixty months,” Schnegg told Brown. “I’m going to keep probation to be supervised by state of California with Mr. Brown performing his domestic violence counseling and community labor in the state of Virginia.” (via E! Online)
Ouch…suppose it could have been worse….Brown may have gone to celebrity prison (since he is an adult) where he could have met someone named RiRi minus the looks of a female, though…well, here’s some more fun facts you guys may want to know about Brown’s ruling courtesy of good ol’ TMZ:
“He must provide DNA samples as requested by authorities. Brown must also keep in touch with the Probation Department and is subject to search and seizure 24/7 for the next 5 years. He can’t own any dangerous weapon, including guns or knives. Brown must pay $2,500 in restitution and another $2,500 in probation expenses. He must also pay a $30 criminal conviction fee –BARGAIN! He must also pay $400 that goes into a domestic violence fund. Brown must get prior approval before leaving the country.”
You’re one of the biggest selling male singers in the game today? Gone. You have one of the hottest relationships with one of the biggest selling female singers in the game today? Gone (thanks to cough cough…Drake…..cough cough….). You were frustratingly featured on cuts after cuts of mainstream artists’ records? Gone (well, Yung Joc still 143’s you). We could mention a grip of more “L’s” Breezy caught, but that’d be too much…all in all, time will tell…but for now, Breezy is on watch. Sounds like a Ustream broadcast should be starting in 5…4….3….2….. –Cyrus Kyle Langhorne
